


Take a Break

by bowtieowl



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, M/M, Minor Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Missing Scene, Post-Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 19:36:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15647544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowtieowl/pseuds/bowtieowl
Summary: I was missing two scenes in season 7 so I took them and wrote them into one. Shiro thinking about Adam and visiting Keith at the hospital.





	Take a Break

What Shiro feels isn't quite emptiness. It's too present for that. It comes close, though. It's a numbness that somehow expands in his chest every time he tries to take a breath.

 

This was easier to deal with right after the attack. Commands had to be given, there was so much work to do. After the speech, though…

 

Nothing.

 

People tell him to get some rest and take a break. They don't really know how hard those things are for him. When the days end and everything goes quiet. That's when his thoughts start to circle. For a long time now, he's been dealing with this by himself and it's probably what makes him realize more than anything that they're back on Earth.

 

There are debriefs and counselling sessions, trauma intervention, psych evaluations. Every possible safety net for soldiers like him. The terms feel familiar and fitting. PTSD and survivor's guilt neatly packed into his little kit of traumata.

 

But even though rationally Shiro can categorize and even digest these feelings, he can't really move past them, except when he's in the middle of a mission or piloting a ship. It becomes harder every day to just be himself.

 

When he's not forced to function, he doesn't function at all.

 

He tries to breathe again and the constriction in his chest is still present. Shiro lets out a quiet sigh and presses his knuckles against his sternum, pressing against this knot he's well aware he's only making up. He just can't stay here any longer.

 

After slipping into his clothes, he rushes out of his room. He wanders for a while before he gives into the urge and heads to the hospital. It's officially past visiting hours, but not by much and the hospital personnel isn't very eager to push for rules when it comes to the people who saved their planet. Shiro still thanks them with a soft smile and a nod before he knocks gently on Keith's door. He only enters when he's asked to come in. Once he closes the door behind him and stands in the middle of the room, Shiro isn't entirely sure why he came here.

 

"I… Am I bothering you?" he asks, suddenly nervous because he doesn't have an explanation why he came.

 

"Not at all," Keith says and looks at him with curiosity. They know each other too well by now. Keith knows that something is off.

 

Shiro tries to dissolve the awkwardness with a small smile and he sits down in one of the chairs next to Keith's bed. They haven't seen each other in almost a week. Shiro visited the paladins a couple of times, making sure they were all doing okay. But they were usually surrounded by friends and family and he didn't want to intrude.

 

"You look better," he says now, taking in Keith's face. There are still a few cuts and bruises and the bandage around his head. But he doesn't look so fragile anymore.

 

"I'm feeling better," Keith replies, still this questioning look on his face.

 

"That's good."

 

Shiro drops his gaze and stares at his own feet for a few moments. There is silence for a while until Keith breaks it. "Are you okay, Shiro?"

 

It's so hard to answer that question. "I think so."

 

"I missed you, you know?" There's no accusation in Keith's voice. But there is something. It makes Shiro look up.

 

"I'm sorry," Shiro says. I thought you wanted to be with your mom.

 

"I did," Keith admits and he pushes himself up so he's sitting up a little straighter. "But I was worried about you."

 

"Worried?" Shiro asks, raising his eyebrows. "Why would you be worried about me?"

 

"Because you weren't here. And I knew from the others that you weren't with them either. So I didn't know…" Keith stops short for a moment, dropping his gaze before he looks back up when he sorted through the words he's trying to say. "I don't like it when you're alone."

 

It hits him hard. Because that's the core of it all, isn't it? Everyone coming home to their families and loved ones. All of them welcomed with open arms,  embraced.

 

One again, they're quiet, but this time it's Shiro who breaks the silence. He doesn't even know where it's coming from. "It's ironic. And somehow typical for us. That he broke up with me because he didn't want me to risk my life. He told me that he wouldn't be waiting for me and I believed him when I left. But I still… I thought I could at least see him again. Reconcile. And I didn't think we'd get back together, but I wanted to tell him that I made it… I've never thought about the possibility that he wouldn't."

 

Keith doesn't say anything immediately and Shiro is grateful. He didn't come for Keith to tell him that he's sorry even when there's no one to blame.

 

"This will always hurt," Keith finally says. "I know that. But I think after everything – he would have been glad to see you again."

 

Shiro has been thinking about what he would have wanted from Adam. At first he thought it was forgiveness, but that's not it. And maybe Keith has found his answer. Maybe he just wanted someone to be glad he made it home.

 

"Thank you," he says. "That means a lot."

 

It really does. Even when it makes Shiro feel even more out of touch with the rest of this whole planet. There is no place for him here. And somehow he thinks that had he been part of Voltron, he would have woken up in a hospital bed alone.

 

The thought alone makes him feel bad. That he envies the people he cares about more than anything their families and loved ones. He stands up, ready to tell Keith that he wouldn't keep putting this on his plate when Keith looks up at him and swallows. "I'm glad you're home, Shiro. I'm glad we're back here together."

 

Shiro exhales. Something is happening between them in this moment. It's like everything they've been through together culminates in this feeling that lingers between them. "I'm glad we're back here together too, Keith."

 

"I'll get out of here tomorrow," Keith says and Shiro can tell he's trying to make his tone a little lighter. "How about we watch a movie and just hang out? We can order pizza. I'd die for pizza."

 

The smile comes easy. "Sounds like a plan."

 

Keith smiles and Shiro nods.

 

Relax.

 

Take a break.

 

For the first time Shiro thinks he might have an idea how that works.


End file.
